Dr. Richard Dixon's Weather Forecast
He's Never Wrong!™
Dr. Richard Dixon, mathematical modeller of meteorological catastrophe perils says:
My prediction for Saturday 14 June 2008 is:
One Week Away (8 June)
We’re under a week away, so here’s my chance to furnish with tales of meteorological misery, and boy how things are becoming clear. In a sort of breezy, showery way: 16ºc, cool northerly winds and a chance of showers in the afternoon.
Suitable attire: two cricket sweaters, non-paper-based hats. A
glorious afternoon for those of us attending who, like me, suffer from fatal hayfever.
Shotguns will be supplied to shoot the messenger.
Too Weak Forecast (31 May)
Well I’ve deliberated, digested, cogitated and masticated and we’re now in the realm of vague meteorological certainty being two weeks away.
The best models are pointing to a warm southerly wind leading to pleasantly warm temperatures with a chance of showers later.
Although Kate Moss appears to be pointing at a possible line of white, powdery stuff. Snow? At this time of year?
One Month Forecast (May 2008)
I have addressed the matter as the wont of RMS (and AIR, 2 years later) in a two-options style of forecast:
Here we go:
Hot, sweaty and sultry.
And now for the forecast outside my pants:
The new Dixon Elevated View of Risk for IPCC Global Warming Scenario 69f : Hot, sweaty and sultry. Outbreaks of bad temper mid-afternoon through Pimms Shortage.
The existing Dixon Long Term View of Risk: Cool and Showery. Recommended attire: Tent.
Dixon’s Predixions currently recommend the Long-Term View of Risk. Complemented by seaweed, pine cones and homeopathy.
8 Month Forecast (November 2007):
Hot Hot Hot! Phew what a scorcher! Not even Al Gore can save you from the impending heat
(Don't forget ... He's Never Wrong!)
He stands by his record.
Predixions for Saturday 16 June 2007:
I stand by the 10-day forecast which seems at this range to be unerringly accurate and should really mean I deserve a prediction column in the Daily Star. Or failing that, a Pimm's.
Cool and showery. Hats with drainage facilities still required. Confidence of forecast has risen to: middling to piddling.
(Don't shoot the messenger)
10-day forecast for the special day:
Cool and showery. Hats with drainage facilities required. Confidence of forecast: low to piddling.
Four and a half months in advance:
Bright start, with lingering hangovers in the London area. Clouding over later, with the possibility of thundery showers and outbreaks of petty squabbling over Bumps result and Pimms-induced verbal diarrhoea towards tea-time.
Feb 4th, 2007
A year in advance:
One year ahead forecast: showers breaking out mid-afternoon.
And how did he do?
The weather was cool, and we had a couple of heavy showers and repeated sprinklings of rain between the sunshine. Labour remained in power for the foreseeable future.
9/10 Dr. Dixon.
Predixions for Saturday 17 June 2006:
The day before:
Well it looks like sunny and around 26c, but with maybe
increasing cloud during the day and if you're very unlucky maybe a shower. Note
my "and if you're very unlucky maybe a shower" to cover all eventualities and
avoid the fate of the frying pan.
The week before:
Hang on Coburn, I'm writing this in the lavs in the middle of
a hot date.
Two weeks beforehand:
My prediction for Saturday 17 June is:
Slightly longer daylight hours than now.
And how did he do?
The weather was warm all day, dry, overcast for a couple of hours, then brilliant sunshine for most of the afternoon.
9/10 Dr. Dixon.
His trademark cry:
"And you can whack me round the head with a frying pan if I'm wrong"